Jason's blog
by jjprp
Summary: So I decided to make a story about a new kid in town but that was too cliche, so the whole thing is from the point of view of Jason writing an online blog for hmself, and nyone else who will read it, but mostly for himself when he's "old and won't remmember anything." Rated K for some foul language.
1. blog post one

My blog:

Entry 1:

Yeah, yeah, I couldn't think of a better name for the blog, but cut me some slack, ok? I'm only a fourth grader. Well, I guess I have some backstory to do since this is my first blog post. My name is Jason Walter. I am 9 years old. I was born in Denver, but my parents decided to move to this crappy little town 3 weeks ago, so now I live in South Park. I don't really know why, my mom said it was to "find some where with peace and quite, and to stay away from some bd men.". I don't know what that last part was about. Anyways, not that much happened today, and I'm not going into a bunch of boring details of my life, this blog is more for the exiting parts of my life that I won't remember when I'm old. Some guy rang the doorbell a I heard my mom and someone else screaming, the latter sounded drunk, but that's kind of it. Tomorrow is my first day of school, so exiting stuff should be coming Tomorrow! I'm gonna go play basketball now, bye until tomorrow! Did I really just talk to some theoretical guy through the computer? Whatever.

-End blog post.


	2. blog post 2 (first day of school)

Blog post 2:

Today was my first day of school. I went to the bus stop and I was the second person to get there, the first being a kid named Kyle, who seems pretty nice. He explained a bit about the school and about some of the kids at the school. Next came a kid named Stan, who is apparently Kyle's "super" best friend. He was nice too, but seemed to keep most things to himself. Kyle explained that he has Asperger's syndrome. Next came along Kenny, who smells like most of the homeless people I see on the street. I would think he's nice but I couldn't hear a word he said because of how tight his parka is around his head. Next came Cartman, who is a spoiled brat to say the least. He's fat a smells like KFC, and he's a complete asshole. Kyle and Cartman then got in an argument, in which I learned that Kyle is jewish and Cartman is...well...still an asshole. I could see Kenny and Stan rolling their eyes, as if this happens everyday. I decided to stay out of it. Eventually the bus came over, and we got on, Cartman and Kyle still arguing. When we got to school my class consisted of 13 people. I avoided the girls but earned some of the boys names. There's Clyde, who I didn't learn much about, Token, who is the only black person in South Park, sans for his parents, Craig, who just sits in the back of the class and flips people off, the kids from the bus stop, and Tweek, who would be better named Twitch. The teacher, Mr. Garrison, talked about celebrities throughout the class. During recess some kids tried to bet me up, but I got them off me easily. I know the easiest way to get rid of people, offense or defense. You kick them in the balls, which stuns them, then follow through with a upper cut to the jaw, which will throw them to the ground. An it doesn't hurt them that much compared to how some other people fight. Nothing else very exiting today, ima end the post now.

-End blog post.


	3. blog post 3 (Kenny dies twice)

Blog post 3:

Today I went to school(duh) and learned about the cast of Star Wars. Apparently the girl who played that queen that I forget the name of is a rumored whore. On the other hand, that Kenny kid's head was ripped off by a stray bullet from Stan's uncle Jimbo. Craig flipped me off and I flipped him back, which seemed to just confuse him. Oh yeah, today I got my actual assigned seat in between Craig and Tweek. Stan, Cartman, and Kyle got into some fight with a robot thing that killed Kenny when it stepped on him. Wait what? Did Kenny just die twice in one day? I'll make sure to ask him about that tomorrow.

-End blog post


	4. Blog post 4

blog post #4

I asked Kenny about him dying today and he said it happens a lot. I doubt that. Thinking back I don't remmember him dying exept for today, when fire ants crawled through his eye and ate his brain. At school we learned about the difference between Madonna and Lady Gaga. I never knew they were different. Actually, I didn't even know that there was an artist named Madonna. Kyle and Cartman got into an argument over weather leprochans exist. I don't believe him, but it's possible I guess. In other news, people are spreding rumors I'm gay, whitch is NOT TRUE! Plus, even if I was, why would I put it up on this blog? Pretty much everyone in this school reads this blog(hi Stan, Kyle, Tweek, and anyone else from my school who's reading.). I think I hear a police car pulling out to my house, I have to go.

- end blog post.


	5. blog post 5

blog post #5

Today at school we learned about multiplication, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but it was actually kind of exciting. More so than learning about Star Wars and Madonna anyways. Today we learned that leprechauns ARE real, so there's that. And now Kyle has to suck Cartman's thing. I would never bet on that, no matter how obviously stupid the bet is. On the other hand, Kenny died today, but I didn't see it. I think Stan said something about Kenny being swooped away in imaginationland and that they simply didn't see him when they landed. Oh yeah, I guess I should talk about what happened with the police. When he came in he said "hey there little guy, where is your mom?" I lead him to my mom's room, where it sounded like she was getting hurt. The policeman said to stand back and cover my eyes, which I did. Then the policeman came out with our school chef, saying he was arresting him for prostitution. I don't know what that means, but it turns out that he couldn't cook at school today, so Stan's dad cooked, who seems a bit TOO obsessed with the food channel. Anyways, I'm out of stuff to talk about, more coming tomorrow.

-end blog post


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So yesterday there was a bit of a glitch with my story so no chapter was uploaded yesterday, so today I'm uploading two chapters. Enjoy!**

blog post #6

Today we still have Stan's dad for our chef, and I seem to be the only one who likes his food. Speaking of Stan, he, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny didn't arrive at school today. I wonder why. They must be "sick". Also in the news apparently the military opened a portal to that "imaginationland" place Stan was talking about yesterday. Also, "Manbearpig" has been reported going around and terrorising people in DC, so there's that. Also, just to put it out to the readers from South Park Elementary, I am NOT gay for Tweak, or anyone else for that matter, and my relationship with Bebe is NOT a fucking cover up. Go tease someone else who's actually gay like Craig, OK? Also apparently PG&E has messed up again by accidentally putting an active nuclear plant on top of the San Andreas fault. I guess some nuclear fallout is better than that whole Cthulhu fiasco that happened last week. In my opinion, they should just give up on PGandE and use a good oil company, like Tweak Bros Local Oil Rigs. AND NO THAT IS NOT ME JUST SUPPORTING TWEAK FOR HIM TO LIKE ME! FUCK OFF WHOEVER STARTED THIS RUMOR! Sorry about that outburst, I'ma stop writing now.

-end blog post


	7. blog post 7

blog post #7

Hello my name is Jason and I am gay for ewug fwbjrsyhd,fyhbwcaksnufxjujwa9OBU IOUY

Sorry about that, Cartman broke into my house last night and apparently I accidentaly pressed the post button when I smashed his head into the keyboard. Ok, now that that's out of the way, let me get back to my blog. So apparently they closed up the portal to imaginationland because evil stuff is coming out of it. Also, Kyle's crew is still out of school, except for Kenny who died again when some woman came in and accidentally threw some sort of sword at him. I wonder if imaginationland has that place I came up in my mind where people are mostly politer and there's less guns that I called "Earth"? I guess anything's possible. Also, with the portal to imaginationland open they've managed to open portals to places such as Hell, Cthulhu's dimension, and a dimension where being gay is the norm and being straight is weird. Apparently the most popular video on youtube right now is song stupid song by John legend. How could anything like that go viral? I hate that song! Anyways I'm out of stuff to talk about, bye for now!

-end blog post.


	8. blog 8

Blog post #8

I didn't really pay attention in class today because I was imagining about that earth place. Today this guy named hitler, who I modeled after Cartman if he was German, created this club called the nazi party and eventually the club took over Germany, in which a huge war ensued where every country in the Earth was part of. Kyle and his crew came back today. They looked pretty tired and Cartman just kept saying "I have dry balls", whatever that means. After school Kenny's head was blown off in a baseball game, and apparently Cartman "found" a ginger cow, which is causing mass suicides all over the world. Also on the news, there are apparently people fighting to change the South Park flag because it's racist. I can see how some people could say that, but I don't really want to get involved in that kind of stuff. I'm out of stuff to talk about today, bye.

-end blog post


	9. blog post 9

blog post #9

Today Bebe broke up with me. So that sucks. Um. Some people came over to my house for dinner today. I don't know who. Anyways, learned about John Travolta in school today. Kenny died when he jumped off the swing today. oh yeah, Kyle likes the taste of Cartman's farts? I don't know, it's weird. Thunder storms today and last night, so that was kinda fun to play ing the rain and all. Also, the middle east has finally gotten over their diferences and are no longer waging war on each other. That's all I have to talk about, bye for today.

-end blog post


	10. Chapter 10

Blog post #10

So today we went on a field trip to a nuclear reactor plant. It would have been funner if we got to do something more than just walk around. Kenny fell into one of the power plants and caused a meltdown, but luckily South Park is about 10 miles away so nobody got hurt. Exept Kenny, he got hurt really bad. Craig and Tweek got into a fight and both ended up in the hospital, and when I visited them there they just fighted again. I think Kyle, Stan, and Cartman have a bet on it too. I made a wood sculpure of a turtle in shop class today, and then Kenny died when he fell into a bunch of rusty nails. Then the teacher started talking to dead Kenny like he loved him, an that was really weird. I don't get what he sees in him. I mean, what? I don't know. That's all I have to talk about today, bye.

-end blog post


	11. blog post 11

Sorry I havent uploaded in a while, I was being attacked by giant hamsters. It was weird. At school today we learned how to use a gun, which was kinda cool but also a little bit boring. Also, Cartman "accidentaly" shot Kyle in the foot. SO he's a asshole. I'm out of stuff to talk about today, everyone else is just sitting in the ruins of the city after the hamsters. Also, exuse my spelling and grammar errors, I'm really tired today. Bye.


End file.
